How can I cope with empty nest syndrome?
Everyone copes differently, but we have some top tips to help make the transition a little easier.
Give yourself time
No one adapts to change overnight. It’s going to feel strange when your child moves to university, especially if it’s their first time living away from home. After years of daily routines and shared space, the sudden quiet might feel unsettling. It’s important to be patient with yourself while you get used to this, and remember, it will get easier.
Be proud of them
If the person you’re supporting has secured a place at university, this is a huge achievement. It reflects the hard work they’ve put in throughout their education and extracurricular activities so far. Focusing on your pride and excitement for them might help you feel a bit better.
Stay connected
A quick message or phone call can reassure you that they’re doing just fine at university. You might want to establish a realistic communication plan before they leave, like agreeing to a video call every Sunday. Remember, they’re going to be busy with their studies and new friends, so try not to panic if you don’t get an instant response.
You could also plan a time to meet up - maybe you’ll visit them in their new university home, giving you a chance to explore a new place and see where they’re living. Plus, they’ll really appreciate being taken out for a nice lunch or dinner! However, it might be helpful to give them a few weeks to settle in before doing this.
Gradually establish new routines
You might find yourself with a bit more free time on your hands when your child goes off to university. Why not take this as a chance to focus on yourself? Maybe you’ll start to develop a new hobby before they leave, like attending an exercise class or starting a DIY project at home. It could be a hobby you do with friends, as a couple, or by yourself. You might decide to start doing things you’ve always wanted to, like going for walks and spending more time with your friends.
If you have other children at home, it’s good to be aware of how the change will affect them, too. Talking to them about how they’re feeling and spending more time with them might even strengthen your relationship and bring you closer.
Spend quality time together when they visit home
At Lancaster, students get a break from formal teaching for four weeks between December-January, four weeks between March-April, and up to three months over summer. Many students take this time as an opportunity to visit family. Planning activities together, like walks and family meals, can help you make the most of your time together and give you both something to look forward to.
View Lancaster University's term dates.
Remember you’re not alone
Empty nest syndrome is very common; you might even have friends who are going through the same thing. As with any concerns, it’s important to talk to your loved ones instead of struggling alone. Your wellbeing matters, too.
If you’re concerned about your mental health, remember to contact a professional healthcare service like the NHS.
